Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Give Me a Break

Today was almost unsettling-ly productive for me (and by that, I mean I went to the gym and got a couple of short assignments done), so I decided I'd really go out on a limb and write for my loyal followers. Or, well, follower. Am I entering over-achiever territory? Possibly. I don't know how I feel about that. I'll let you (you, one reader) know.

Spring Break officially came to an end this past Sunday night, and I was nowhere near ready for it. I had one of the most relaxing and un-productive breaks ever, and it was lovely. Anything to get off-campus, I'm there. I went with the family and my friend, Jessica, to the Outer Banks in North Carolina. Jess and I drove separately from my mom, step-dad, two little sisters and one dog, while we took the other dog. Rooooad triiiiip!

Jessica is a great person to drive long distances with. Last summer, we took what should have been a 3 or 4 hour trip to Richmond, VA to see Gavin DeGraw. It took us 6 hours. In stop-and-go traffic pretty much the entire way. You'd think with my panic of realizing I had forgotten my ticket and our collective panic as to whether we'd make it to the show on time, it was a miserable trip. However, it was a very fun bonding experience. We sang along to our staple CDs the whole way there. And we made it with an hour to spare, sitting down to a nice dinner beforehand. The venue so kindly looked me up and printed out another ticket, free of charge.

This road trip was similarly great. Our backs hurt a little more by the end of it, but the iPods lasted the whole way. And, after a scary near-collision on the highway (not my fault), we thought how comically tragic it would've been to die listening to Fools & Horses' "Wide-Eyed Wonder" ("It's a wide-eyed wonder why, oh why, you didn't die...") without anyone ever knowing. The drive really made me realize, though, that I love being on the road. Whether it's with someone else or just me, I love driving. Most importantly, with an endless supply of music. It's good therapy and the best way to keep your mind off of anything.

As for the OBX vacation itself-- well, it was just what I needed: time away from school and human beings in general. (It really felt like we were the only ones there.) There was some rain, and Jess became germ-infestedly sick at one point, but both the sky and Jess' throat cleared up, and by the last day, we got a beautiful day on the beach and pedicures to boot. Ha! Pun intended.

Luckily, coming back to school wasn't as bad as I thought. I'm ready to start planning my summer by looking for jobs and internships, registering for classes, finding cheap furniture for my soon-to-be apartment, and maybe even squeezing in another short vacation. I think I'll wear one of the summer dresses I bought in N.C. to get in the mindset, even if it's still 40 degrees out.

Currently Listening To: "Amie" - Damien Rice

Maddy rides up front.

Sisters torture Iris.

Jess gets tipsy off one drink.

I freeze.
Much better.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009


Today, I spent more time than I'd like to admit on fmylife.com. In case you've never heard of it, "Fuck My Life" is a site with all user-submitted content about the hilarious, ironic, embarrassing and downright sad events that happen to people. These short entries are a nice reminder that everyone from your dry cleaning lady to your professor to the person peeing in the stall next to you all have those FML moments. Heck, I have several FML moments a day. Mine usually aren't funny or shocking in retrospect, though. FML.

I got to about the 31st page of FMLs before realizing I'd accomplished absolutely nothing. Here are a few of my favorites.

Today, I called the florist and ordered a flower arrangement for my grandma, who I was told was sick. I said I didn't know what to get her, so just to send her something nice. I got a call from my mom calling me an inconsiderate bastard. They sent my grandma forget-me-nots. She has Alzheimers. FML

Today, after class I was chatting with my teacher, a really cool and stylish old black guy. I tell him he reminds me of one of those soul dudes from those 70s movies, right down to the pimp-walk. He tells me he walks that way because he was beaten for drinking out of the wrong fountain as a kid. FML

Today, I went to online to find out why my midterm grade is for my least favorite class Psychology. After weeks upon weeks of studying and doing work for a class I hate I found out that I have a zero in the class. Turns out I've been going to the wrong psychology class all semester. FML

Today, I found out that the electric nose hair clippers that I've been using for the past two years are in fact my father's pubic hair trimmers. FML

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. I minimized the porn on my laptop so she wouldn't see I was watching it. It turns out I was watching an old Beatles concert before I started masturbating. My mom thought I was masturbating to the Beatles. FML

Today, I woke up at my grandparents house since my mom was out of town, still half asleep i went to brush my teeth. Mid brush my mouth started getting numb I looked again at the tooth paste I used..turns out it was my grandpa's anti-itch anal cream. FML

Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children and adults with disabilities. I was rushing to get the email out and hit send before I realized that instead of "Best Regards" I had typed "Best Retards" as the closing line. FML

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year old daughter from her room texts me, "Stop." FML

Monday, March 9, 2009

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

A Little Put-Off

You know you’ve got a procrastinating problem when you put off doing something that was created with the intent of using it as a procrastination tool. Fail.

I’m talking about this here blog, of course. What “blogger” writes on Thursday and doesn’t post again until the following Wednesday? Six whole days? Now I’ll never get on Good Morning, America. Damn.

It’s not even that I haven’t had anything to write about. There were several points in the past almost-week where I had an Oprah “aha!” moment and thought of a potential topic. Instead, however, I decided to put this off (as well as a school assignment or two) and browse the Gavin DeGraw fan club message boards instead. (Side note: New Gavin album March 31st!)

What’s worse is that in posting this entry about basically nothing, I’m actually putting off writing a real post with actual content. Did you notice that? Probably not. Because no one reads this. So no one noticed. Oh, the lonely life of a blogger.

If you ARE reading this, you’re probably procrastinating, too. I do the same thing—after visiting and re-visiting all of my usual websites, I end up on some incredibly random site that’s really not that interesting but, well… it beats developing time management skills and getting work done ahead of time.

Since this post is coming to an end and you’re wondering what to do next, here’s a video, courtesy of about five people I know now, to watch over and over. Related videos are fun, too.