Saturday, January 30, 2010


Hello, friends.

It's Saturday and I am snowed in at my boyfriend's house. Can't make it safely off his road, nor would I likely be able to make it up the hill of my complex once I got there anyway. Plans for tonight are postponed. So, I'm enjoying a day in my sweatpants browsing the web and writing a bit while John's practicing and recording tracks downstairs.

I just got off the phone with Lee Ann, my dad's girlfriend of 3+ years, who so generously extended the use of her timeshare to both me and John for a spring break getaway. Browsing through all the possible locations (Mexico, the Carribean, South America, Greece, Canada, Denmark, etc.) makes me anxious to get out of this snow! The thought of going to Canada for spring break cracks me up. No, thank you.

The options are overwhelming, though. There are tons of places to choose from, but there's so much to take into consideration. Like plane ticket costs. Holy crap, will that affect this decision. They're not cheap. Everyone wants to get away.

I'm starting to get overwhelmed here. I'd rather be writing, but inspiration is falling to the wayside. Will someone (Rachel? McKenzie?) tell me what inspires them? Is it puppies? Clear skies? The beaches of Puerto Plata? Blah...

Thursday, January 28, 2010


(Text below)

I am lucky.

I am lucky to be able to say that I have many best friends. Each of these "best friends" are very different from one another, and yet, somehow, they are all my best friends. Best friends best friends best friends. Have I said it enough?

One of my best friends is also my roommate, Justine. We just watched The Notebook together, and it got me all happy, then down, because it's kind of wonderful and depressing. (Really, though, it never gets old. Especially deleted love scenes. Oh my.) So, in order to lift my spirits, I asked another best friend (Rachel, my longest bestest friend) what I should write about. She said that I should write about her (of course). I do think that it is wonderful that we can be so close despite the fact that we can go several days without talking, and several months without cuddle-wuddling.

So, in honor of best friends, here's a photographic post dedicated to those special dears in my life. And here's to blog posts done half-assedly due to the blogger having to be up in six hours.

Monday, January 11, 2010

This is not a resolution.

It's January 11, 2010, and nothing serves as a better kick in the ass and forces you to ask, "What am I doing?" than the start of a new decade. That's where I am right now.

One year ago, I felt much more certain about what I was doing in terms of working toward my long-term goals. I had a decent idea of what I wanted to be doing post-college, and it involved some cool-sounding term like "artist management," where I'd be representing talented musicians and guiding them toward success. I figured I'd end up living somewhere on the West Coast for a little while, or maybe Nashville, but most likely settle permanently in Baltimore since family ties tend to keep us where we come from.

Today, I'm much less confident about my future. There was a point when I realized something like "artist management" sounds nice, but it probably doesn't encompass what I really want to do. Afterall, the word "management" implies business. That kind of makes me yawn. It would involve dealing with numbers, legal contracts, and other "stuff" that just sounds painful. There's the satisfaction of working with talented musicians, but it really wouldn't have the creative aspect I'm looking for.

And as much as I'm still very interested in my public relations track, there's a part of me that is really just longing to write. And by writing, I don't mean press kits. I want to write lyrics, poems, blogs, maybe short stories. There's even an idea for a novel that's been floating around in my head for the past six months that I so badly want to explore.

But that's yet another problem of mine. Every time I've tried to sit down and write lately, I just can't squeeze anything out. It's not enjoyable to even make a somewhat lazy effort. I want the vague ideas I have roaming around in my mind to expand in front of me on paper, but it's been a struggle. All of this has led me to have a mini (or possible no-so-mini) freakout of sorts, because I realize that I'm going through that stage most people in their early twenties go through. Hell, it's not even reserved just for us anymore. Which kind of freaks me out even more because I wonder if I'll still be having an identity crisis five or ten years from now. I know this kind of feeling is expected of me now. And I'm smart enough to realize that I'm smart enough that I'll figure it out or at least make it by with some level of success. Or at least I hope.

Despite all this anxiety I'm experiencing, it's also been one of the absolute best years of my life. From an academic standpoint, I'm doing more than great. I'm ahead of schedule in that I'll graduate a whole semester early next year. But on a more personal level, I've also spent the majority of the past year with the love of my life. That might come off as something naive of me to say since my life has only consisted of two decades, but there's no doubt that the man I've met is the best thing to have happened to me in a long time. At least that's one thing I can be certain about. I realize I'm gushing (I'll stop), but I don't really expect many people to read this, if anyone.

And, of course, it's obvious but necessary of me to say that my family and closest friends have been nothing but supportive of me and have served as guiding lights when I'm not feeling incredibly confident about the future.

Speaking of family, my mom gave me great advice at dinner the other night. It was that I need to keep writing-- every day. Even if I do have the raw talent (and I hope I do), that's not going to get me anywhere unless I actually put words on the page. And I've always known this, really. I guess I just forgot along the way.

So here's to restarting on the blog front. This is my effort to be more creative. If I'm not writing here, I'll hopefully be writing lyrics, or maybe even fiction. Either way, I'll be stringing words together. I won't dare call this a New Year's resolution, because then I'm sure to blow it. Wish me luck, cyberworld.